I am the becoming
if I allow
rub off old skin
I am becoming
I'm preparing for my single release on March 19th. The song is called Brink of Change. I feel such an intense drive to share it. So much time, energy and love have gone into making this track and I'm excited for it to come into the world. I see the potential for this song to touch tens of thousands of people. At the same time, I feel a bubbling up of resistance.
When it comes to sharing my music, there are 2 parts of me - the part that is expansive, brave and wants to shine. Then there's the part that would rather continue to play small and stay in hiding. Let's call these parts Expansion (or my inner winner) and Contraction (my inner saboteur).
Today, during a coaching session, I decided to try speaking from the perspective of both of these parts, instead of attempting to suppress my inner saboteur (which has clearly not worked). I got into character. First I spoke in the voice of Expansion. She confidently shared the reasons why the world needed this upcoming release, Brink of Change. When I switched to the voice of Contraction, she spoke of her many fears relating to sharing her art - fear of judgement, fear of being misinterpreted, fear of negative attention, fear of any attention at all for that matter..... For the first time, she had an opportunity to describe what was on her heart and be witnessed not only by me, but by another human being. The process of making space for Contraction to be heard was illuminating. I began to look at her, not as some type of malicious being, but instead, as a small child who felt unsupported and afraid. What I had perceived to be sabotage, was actually an attempt at keeping me safe from perceived harm.
I want to let Expansion and Contraction communicate more often. Something I didn't do during the coaching session was allowing them to respond to one another. As I write this, I'm taking short breaks to close my eyes and speak to the part of me that is afraid to shine. I'm acknowledging her fear and holding her. I'm letting her know that we are safe - That the Creator is in control and we're going to be fine. Through these conversations, I hope that Expansion can lend Contraction some of her confidence and that Contraction can remind Expansion of the child within who needs to be held and told that everything's going to be ok.
As I prepare for this single release, which is only a few days away, I remember that the intention is to instil hope, a deeper sense of connection to Nature and a sense of calm confidence in change, which is the most natural thing in existence. The only thing that is inevitable in life is change, so it makes sense to accept it. I want to take it a step further and celebrate it!
It's important to me that if I'm sharing this notion of celebrating change with the world, then I too need to embody a calm confidence regarding change. The first step is for me to recognize that if this song is as powerful as I believe it is, then it needs to reach as many people as possible, I need to put my fears and resistance to the side. My coach said to me, "this is about more than you - who are you to stand in the way of the maximum number of people receiving this music?" That's the truth. These gifts were meant to be shared, not hoarded. I simply need to be in a state of allowing in order for them to flow through me to whoever needs them. Through that allowing, I believe that my promotion will be naturally energized.. It won't feel like a chore to promote my music - it will flow just like my songs do.
The trees don't cling to their leaves in the autumn - they let them fall to the ground, allowing new flowers to blossom in the spring. The caterpillar doesn't cling to its old form - it allows itself to be transformed, naturally, into a beautiful butterfly.
I honour myself and my Higher Power by embracing and celebrating change.
I honour myself and my Higher Power by sharing my gifts with a joyful heart.